How Not to Make Friends
THE NOTE
IT’S THE SECOND WEEK OF FIFTH GRADE. MEG BRIGHTLEY SITS IN
THE THIRD ROW RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. SHE IS PART OF THE COOL
GIRL GROUP AND DRESSES FOR THE PART WITH HAIR CLIPS SHAPED
LIKE PINK FLOWERS AND PURPLE BUTTERFLIES. SHE IS SO COOL SHE
EVEN WEARS LIP GLOSS LIKE A TEENAGER.
Meg opens her desk to get her spelling notebook. As she
picks it up, she notices a folded index card sitting on top
of the cover.
MEG
Oh god no. Not again!
MEG IS SEEN EXAMINING THE NOTE. EMILY’S VOICE IS HEARD
READING IT.
EMILY
I know you got my last note. I saw
it crumpled up in the garbage. I
just wanted to tell you that I
noticed that your mom isn’t very
good at packing lunches. All of the
sandwich ingredients were in the
wrong pattern for maximum wonderful
sogginess! Don’t worry. I fixed it
for you. Friendiness, Emily
Longshadow
Meg turns around to look at one of the seats behind her.
EMILY IS SEEN LEANING FORWARD IN HER CHAIR, SUPPORTING
HERSELF ON HER ELBOWS. HER HAIR USED TO BE BLOND, BUT NOW
IT’S THE SHADE OF GREEN THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM FADED BLUE
DYE OR TOO MUCH TIME IN THE POOL WITH NO SHAMPOO FOR A
MONTH. HER SHIRT IS ORANGE AND HER SHORTS ARE PURPLE AND HER
SHOES ARE RED.
Seeing Meg face her, Emily gives her a smile with a few
teeth missing and two thumbs up.
THE HAIRCUT
MEG IS SEEN DRAWING WITH COLORED PENCILS. THE TOP OF THE
COLORING SHEET SAYS "DRAW YOUR BEST FRIEND!" MEG’S PICTURE
IS OF HER DOG. THE SOUND OF A PAIR OF SCISSORS CLOSING IS
HEARD.
Meg jerks to see Emily walking away with a tuft of her hair.
MEG
Did you just cut my hair?
EMILY
I couldn’t draw it right. It’s so
pretty!
THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
MEG IS SEEN OPENING PRESENTS NEXT TO WHAT IS LEFT OF A
BIRTHDAY CAKE. THE ENTIRE CLASS IS SITTING ON THE GROUND
WATCHING.
Meg stuffs shredded wrapping paper into a trash bag her mom
is holding. She picks up another gift and starts opening.
MEG
The last Harry Potter movie!
Thanks, Kristy!
KRISTY
You’re welcome.
Meg discards the wrapping and picks up a rather large
parcel. She tears the wrapping and opens the plain cardboard
box inside. At the top of a mound of packing peanuts is a
Lost Dog sign with a picture very similar to the Yorkie in
the "best friend" drawing. Meg digs through the peanuts and
pulls out the dog. It is completely still and stiff, frozen
in a play bow with its butt in the air.
MEG
Lucky?! Wha- What happened?!
EMILY
I saw that you were sad that he had
gone missing, so when I found him,
I had him taxidermy-ed so you could
keep him forever!
Meg bursts out crying.
THE FAREWELL
EMILY IS SEEN SITTING IN CLASS. PAN TO THE CLOCK. IT’S 5
MINUTES INTO FIRST PERIOD. PAN TO MEG’S EMPTY CHAIR.
Emily ducks her head sadly.
EMILY IS SEEN EATING LUNCH BY HERSELF IN THE CAFETERIA. THE
TABLE WITH KRISTY AND MEG’S OTHER FRIENDS HAS AN EMPTY SEAT.
Emily pushes her soggy sandwich away and crosses her arms
with a sigh.
THE CAMERA ZOOMS OUT FROM A CLOCK READING 3:00 PM AS A
SCHOOL BELL RINGS. CUT TO EMILY RIDING HER BIKE AWAY FROM
THE SCHOOL. ON HER WAY HOME, SHE PASSES A HOUSE WHERE MEG’S
MOM IS SEEN DIRECTING MEN CARRYING BOXES OUT TO A BIG TRUCK.
THE NEXT
BACK IN THE CLASSROOM, EMILY IS SEEN OPENING HER DESK.
INSIDE IS A LITTLE BOX LABELED "NEW FRIENDS."
Emily pulls a note card out of the box. It says, "Hi _____!
Will you be my new best friend? Friendiness, Emily
Longshadow." Emily fills in the blank, folds the note, and
hides it in another desk.
CUT TO KRISTY OPENING HER DESK AND FINDING THE NOTE.
Kristy runs to the front of the room, grabs the hall pass,
and runs out the door.
CREDITS
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