Final Draft Fall 2012: Confinement Dialogue Assignment

Assignment: Two characters confined together having an uninterrupted dialogue. No descriptions outside of the dialogue. Given context must contain only names, ages, and genders of the two characters, the location of confinement, and a maximum of one sentence about how they got there.

Toby: (M) Age 24

Canton: (M) Age 50

Location: The men’s restroom; each in his own stall.

Situation: Toby has the runs and Canton is stopped up.

 

Canton: Someone’s in a hurry.

Toby: I suppose you could say that.

Canton: Are you taking your pants off?

Toby: Uhhh, I have to change my boxers. Haven’t had the runs in years.

Canton: I see. Not your night, huh?

Toby: Understatement of the year.

Canton: You dropped something.

Toby: What?

Canton: Your Trojans fell out of your pocket. Should I kick them back over?

Toby: Shit. No thanks. Keep them if you like.

Canton: Naw. These wouldn’t fit and I’m way past having to worry about kids.

Toby: Uuugh. Shit. I know she means well, but Jessica shouldn’t be allowed to cook fish.

Canton: I can tell. That reeks.

Toby: Been having to pull over at every rest stop big enough to have a toilet for the last three hours. Gonna be a long night.

Canton: Count your blessings, kid. I’ve been taking softeners for days, but I don’t think I’ll be able to go until next month.

Toby: Why bother trying? It’s not that I don’t enjoy shitting my pants and dropping rubbers in the company of strangers- It just seems to me that I’d rather be on the road so I get where I’m going faster rather than wasting my time.

Canton: My gut feels awful. And there isn’t another rest stop for something like twenty miles.

Toby: Oooooh. Note to self: never let Jessica cook again.

Canton: I’ll keep that in mind. Do you cook, yourself?

Toby: A bit. My parents taught me a few recipes that I can do rather well.

Canton: Yeah?

Toby: I can make good pasta sauce. And I’m good with steak too. Basically anything that isn’t more involved than stirring and flipping or using a microwave. I’m an expert at mac’n’cheese.

Canton: Well that’s good. Can’t get enough steak and macaroni.

Toby: Awww shit.

Canton: What?

Toby: Uh… I’m… out of toilet paper.

Canton: Oh.

Toby: Well that’s just great.

Canton: I’ve got plenty. I can give it to you- it’s not like I’ll be needing it anytime soon.

Toby: Sure…

Canton: Here.

Toby: Thanks. What I wouldn’t give for this to stop…

Canton: I’d trade in a heartbeat.

Toby: You haven’t had Jessica’s cooking.

Canton: I’ve got a daughter by that name. She learned to cook from her mother, and I don’t know whose is worse.

Toby: Yeah- I used to tip it to the dog, but it died.

Canton: Uhh…

Toby: Not ‘cause of the food; it got hit by a car. Which I suppose is nice ‘cause we’d just gotten back from the vet after finding out it had cancer.

Canton: What kind of dog was it?

Toby: Rat terrier. Ugly little fucker.

Canton: I see.

Toby: Woke us up at 6:00 in the morning every single day. I kept telling Jessica that if we fed it later in the evening, it would let us sleep in more, but she just couldn’t stand to let it wait for us to finish our own dinner first.

Canton: It sounds like a dog door would have been a sound investment.

Toby: It’s an apartment, so we couldn’t modify the door.

Canton: Right. That makes sense.

Toby: I don’t suppose you can get a whole roll out, can you? I’m probably gonna need it rather often.

Canton: They’ve got a lock on the dispenser.

Toby: That’s just fantastic. I’d change stalls, but the moment I do, I just know I’m gonna have another wave and wreck my pants.

Canton: Again.

Toby: Uh, yeah.

Canton: Well here’s a bunch more paper. Should last you a few minutes.

Toby: Thanks.

Canton: So where’d you meet this Jessica?

Toby: We were on the same train from Denver to San Francisco last summer. Good thing too- I don’t know how else I could have survived the monotony of northern Nevada.

Canton: Don’t like flying?

Toby: I’m not the biggest fan of airports. And I usually like seeing the countryside go past. Just not the Nevada desert. There really is nothing there.

Canton: I suppose it would lose its charm after the first hour or so.

Toby: Yeah. I was really glad for the company, and by the time we got to San Francisco, I decided that I’d be an idiot not to ask for her number. Rest is history I suppose.

Canton: I suppose so.

Toby: So where are you headed so late anyway?

Canton: I’m on my way home to Seattle from a business trip. Yourself?

Toby: Gonna meet my fiancé’s parents tomorrow evening, but we decided to head up to Seattle a day early and spend the night in the oldest hotel we can find. We like to do that in every city we visit together.

Canton: Is that so?

Toby: Even back in San Francisco it’s fun to have a change of scene every once in a while. Ya know what I mean?

Canton: I think so.

Toby: There’s something really cool about new things in old buildings.

Canton: Like what?

Toby: It makes them feel timeless. Like we could be anywhere, you know?

Canton: Do you usually have the urge to be anywhere but where you are?

Toby: It’s not that at all. I dunno. Jessica puts it really well, but it might come out kind of garbled when I say it. It’s sorta like the old buildings with various decades or centuries of retrofitting are some kind of reminder that things can always be made fresh. She really enjoys it, and that’s enough for me.

Canton: Sharp kid.

Toby: Umm thanks?

Canton: Just don’t forget that last bit ten years from now.

Toby: I won’t. She might be an awful cook, but we’re all bad at something. I’m horrible at remembering to separate my laundry loads, so I’ve got a bunch of pink shirts. Figure as long as the color is even throughout, who cares?

Canton: Yeah, well my wife loves watching Tom Hanks, and I can never keep straight which one is Tom Hanks and which one is Tom Cruise. So my wife gets disappointed whenever I take her to a movie with the wrong one by mistake. She jokes that if I try to take her to one more Mission Impossible movie, she’ll divorce me.

Toby: She sounds like fun.

Canton: Huh. So when’s the wedding?

Toby: Not sure yet. It’s been a whirlwind; we haven’t even told her parents yet. Figured we’d do it in person.

Canton: Good luck with that. When I met wife’s parents, her father asked me to toss him a roll from across the table, so I did. Bounced it right off his forehead and onto his plate.

Toby: Jessica told me her father did that too. Small world.

Canton: You won’t let her do something as absurd as naming a rat terrier Kitty again, will you?

Toby: I’ll try not to. Wait. I never said the dog’s name was… Oh shit. I didn’t mean what I said about your daughter’s cooking.

Canton: What do you do for a living, Toby? Jessica told me, but I don’t remember.

Toby: Uh, I do the financials for a startup.

Canton: Oh yeah? How’s that going?

Toby: Pretty well actually. I just resigned from my other job so I could do it full time.

Canton: Congratulations.

Toby: Got a fifth share in the company too.

Canton: Oh, so in a few years, you might be able to afford to just do delivery. For now, I’d just put cooking lessons on the gift registry.

Toby: Well… This isn’t the first impression I imagined making.

Canton: It rather smells. Need more paper, son?

Toby: Not yet.

Canton: Well that’s good. ‘Cause I’m giving up on needing mine. I’ll see ya tomorrow night.

Toby: Um… Drive safe.